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Sunday, April 15, 2012

I Me Myself Stuti Sharma 5 (Assurance!)


Neha: Yippee! I got two tickets of Akon Concert.
Stuti: Hey that’s great buddy. How you managed it?
Neha: I got connection sweetheart... Show is on 16th next month.
Stuti: Great but wait a minute, how will we go?
Neha: In your car only.
Stuti: Yaar Neha, I told you na I lost my license.
Neha: Oh Shit and if we go by metro then we have to come early because metro will take a long route… Hey we have one month to go, why don’t you apply for duplicate license? You will get that in a month time…
Stuti: Yaar you sure it will come in one month time, its government thing…
Neha: Yes it will. You come right now with me…

AT LICENSE OFFICE

Stuti: Hey Neha, I think that guy over there is an agent, let’s get all the work done through him han, He will take only 100 Rupees more that’s it…
Neha: No we will not give any bribe or commission…
Stuti: I am telling you then we will not get that in a one month for sure…
Neha: You come with me…here is the duplicate license department…

AT DUPLICATE LICENSE DEPARTMENT

Officer: You have all the documents?
Stuti: Yes sir, I have, here are they…
Officer: Good… You will get license within 2 weeks…
Stuti: You sure sir? I need that in a month time…
Officer: Don’t worry I am saying you will get that…
Stuti: Sir I need it very badly in a month time…
Officer: Arre I am telling you will get that in week time…
Stuti: Still Sir for my assurance can you keep this 100 Rupees?

 (I have written this to show that we are so used to of corruption that we believe no work can be done without bribe or agent... We have become part of it… To change it, we have to change our self as well)

Monday, April 2, 2012

I Me Myself Stuti Sharma 4 (Indecent proposal!!)

Stuti: Come Neha, We are getting late.
Neha: But where are we going?
Stuti: Remember I told you about my friend Shruti. She is coming here to meet me.
Neha: She is coming from Rajauri Garden to meet you?
Stuti: No yaar, She has joined some French course nearby...
Neha: Oh ok ok… But where is she?
Stuti: Here she is. Hi Shruti…
Shruti: Hi Stuti, give me a hug yaar I need it...
Stuti (after hugging her): What happen?
Shruti: Same problem yaar...
Stuti: Hmmmm... Any ways meet her she is my friend Neha…
Shruti: Hi Neha… How are you?
Neha: Hello Shruti…
Shruti: Stuti.. I have to go to washroom han I will be back…
Neha: What problem she was talking about?
Stuti: Yaar she is in depression these days… Her boyfriend ditched her and after that she is in really bad state… And I am trying to help by lending my shoulder… I will tell you her story han…His boyfriend is really an asshole…
Neha: Oh.. Here she came… and Stuti you talk to her I have to attend that stupid lecture for           attendance sake… And you remember I am going to Shimla and will be back in college after a week?… Take care
Stuti: Okies.. See you… Have a nice trip
Shruti: Where is Neha?
Stuti: She has to attend a lecture.
Shruti: Yaar I am feeling terrible.. I was not able to sleep whole night.. These boys are like this only, We girls are so loyal, so supportive, we love from heart but they never care about our feelings…What was my mistake yaar? Why he has done this with me?
Stuti: Aaaww don’t cry dear… It’s not like this all, five fingers are not equal… You will find a really  nice decent guy…
Shruti: No I don’t need any guy in my life now… I can’t trust them any more… But I need a support I need you Stuti… You are my best friend… Give me your hand and promise you will support me always?
Stuti: Sure yaar I will…  Now you should go home han I have to attend a lecture…

These boys never care about good girls like me and Shruti.. I really feel for poor girl… I will give her all the support to come out of this trauma…

Shruti: ok, But remember we have to go for an eve walk.. Bye…

************In Evening while walking**********

Shruti: Stuti, Yaar we girls are always good na… See I need you and you are there with me…
Stuti: Yeah dear that’s what friendship is.
Shruti: yeah you understand me so well, you are so sweet... give me your hand promise me we will always be together…
Stuti (giving her hand): Sure yaar!!
Shruti: Stuti, I love you yaar!
Stuti: I love you too honey…
Shruti: I really love you, I think if you are with me then I don’t need any other guy.. We can always be together .. I will always hold your hand... I love holding your hand... I like your touch…
Stuti: wait wait wait.. what are you talking about?
Shruti: I am talking about us! I know you too feel the same way as I do…
Stuti: See Shruti, I am here because you are my friend and you are feeling low these days nothing else.. I am straight and I don’t have any feelings for you…
Shruti: I know you are lying and afraid of our culture and don’t wana come out and accept it… Even I was thinking like this only… But we have to come out of this and accept it Stuti…
Stuti: See Shruti, there is nothing like this and I am telling you never talk to me about this again. And I am leaving now.. Bye...

***********AFTER A WEEK*************

Neha: Hey Stuti, How are you darling… So good to see you after a week.. You know in Shimla       there was a guy in Shimla who was after me like anything…
Stuti: Yaar at least you are dealing with guys… I am to dealing with girls…
Neha: Dealing with girls? Mean?
Stuti: Remember that girl Shruti, She turns out to be a lesbo yaar and She proposed me…
Neha: Whaaaaat? Ha Ha Ha.. Lucky girl han you.. She is beautiful…
Stuti: Don’t put salt on wounds han… I don’t know what to do…
Neha: Hey you look so tensed tell me what happen?

*************Stuti narrates everything**********

Stuti: Now what should I do?
Neha: Aree just ignore…
Stuti: Yaar I did, She calls me 1000 times in a day and check my inbox it overflows with her messages.. She also calls me on landline and once twice she came at home only.. She also came to our college but I saw her and hide…
Neha: Hmmm but what she wants? You already told her that you are straight..
Stuti: Yaar she believes I am lying and is not accepting because of society pressure… I tried explaining many times in last week but she is not listening and says I am lying..
Neha: But she was having a boyfriend?
Stuti: No it was her girlfriend who ditched her not boyfriend.. She was lying at that time…
Neha: Oh its complex yaar.. What to do?
Stuti: I don’t know yaar, I am so confused…
Neha: Hmmm, You give me her number, let me try to explain..
Stuti: yeah take but I am telling you, It’s futile…
Neha: Still let me have reason with her.. I am turning on the loudspeaker han…
Shruti: Hello…
Neha: Hi Shruti, Its Neha, Stuti friend…
Shruti: Oh ya ya Hi Neha..
Neha: Stuti told me about you two guys, Why don’t you understand there is no society pressure or something as you are thinking… She is not into it..
Shruti: No, I know better, the way she touched me, the way she look at me I know she has the same orientation.. In fact she even said I love you too me and one she was saying to me while walking that particular girl is looking hot!
Neha: Oh yes, So you figured it out han.. So listen carefully.. She is my girlfriend and we are together for last 6 months. So don’t even dare look at her.. She is mine han… If you ever disturb her then you will be responsible for everything which I will do to you..
Shruti: But she likes me..
Neha: Don’t say even a word after it… See Shruti, You are right that she likes girls but you have to understand that she in a relationship and we can’t live together without each other… So please try to understand.. Your ex GF ditched you and see how bad you felt so just understand…
Shruti: Hmmmm you are right.. I wana see her happy and If she is going around with you and she is  happy with that then I promise I will not disturb her….
Neha: Thanks Shruti for understanding… Bye..
Stuti (with her mouth wide open): What was that?
Neha: you haven’t heard? We are officially a couple now (winks)
Stuti: Let me come to my senses…Ah..I don’t know what to say… but anyways you are such a sweetheart ­thanks darling for all this.. You have saved my life… Love you my darling
Neha: Love you too Honey… Now let’s go for class han


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I Me Myself Stuti Sharma 3 (Neha's Birthday)

Ah! Waseem is so handsome yaar... He literally can take your breath away...Oh GOD just make him propose me! Please please please god! But why I am thinking like this yaar ... Why will college best guy will propose me? ... But miracles do happen... Some people believe in it but I am relying on it...

Neha: Stuti, I am feeling something... I am dying...hold me
Stuti: Hey what happen? Are you alright?
Neha: I just saw Waseem yaar, He will kill me one day yaar...
Stuti: Han yaar he is damm handsome...

Neha don’t look at him han, he is mine... Hey tomorrow is Neha Birthday and I can invite Waseem, this will give me a chance to spoke to him and I can also say I have done this for you Neha... Wow Stuti you are best...

Stuti: Hey Waseem...
Waseem: Hey Stuti...
Stuti: Tomorrow, its birthday of my friend Neha at Chill'm Kamla Nagar... We are giving her a      surprise party... Why don’t you come there, it will be fun...
Waseem: Cool Stuti... I will be there...

Oh wow he agrees ah I am so short of time, I have to see what to wear... Someone told me that blue is his favorite color... But i don’t have matching footwear... No No I will take it from Neha, she has one.. Yippee should I ask him to dance with me there? Should I............

Chill'm Kamla Nagar

When well he come yaar, what if he forgets? I have only called her twice in morning to remind... I should have called him in afternoon as well...

Neha: Stuti Stuti... See Waseem is here... How come he is here?
Stuti: It’s a surprise for you dear, I invited him...
Neha: Awwww You are such a Sweetheart…
Waseem: Hey Stuti, Hi Neha Happy Birthday..
Neha: Thanks Waseem... Thank you very much...
Stuti: Thanks for coming Waseem!
Waseem: Pleasure is all mines Stuti...
Neha: Hey Waseem lets dance... It’s my Birthday and you cannot say no han..
Waseem: Sure Why not....

It’s my idea, this is not done Neha... I can’t see him with someone else. Oh god now stop it how much will you dance... Ah here they are coming...

Neha: Waseem, You are a really good dancer..
Waseem: Thanks Neha.. You too dance well..
Neha: Waseem I wana say something... I really like you...Right from the first day i saw you... Whenever I am in college my eyes always search for you only...I think I have fallen for you.. Will you be mine?

What the fuck! Where did this come from..

Waseem: Are you mad or what? Just because I have come to your stupid Birthday party doesn’t mean I like you Han... How can you even think I will like you...? Have you ever seen yourself? I only came because Stuti invited me... Stuti I don’t like Neha but I really like you.. I have come here only for you...and I know you too like me…Here I am in front of everyone down on my knee proposing you.. Will you be my girl?

Stuti: Are you insane? Have you even seen yourself in mirror? Let me tell you don’t do that, you will die after seeing that and How dare you talk to my best friend like that? What the hell do you think of yourself you asshole...  You are a guy with no respect for women, no dignity nothing and don’t dare say any damm word now and get the hell out of here...

Waseem walks out of the party...And everyone starts applauding..

Neha (smiling with tears): I love you Darling.. You are a lifesaver..
Stuti: Anything for my bestest friend... Happy Birthday Sweety!!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I Me Myself Stuti Sharma -2

I don’t understand how these professors come up with such new technique every single day to BORE you and moreover can’t he see what I am seeing that no one is listening to him...Let me check how many Guys are checking me out... What the hell yaar I am at least better than this boring lecture and on top of that it's a male professor...

Ah Shashank is looking here... he is cute... He is turning back over and over wow...

He is passing a smile at me now... Should I smile back or wait. If I smile back will it be a fast move or if I will not smile back he may take as arrogance and will not make a move again... I think...

Professor: Shashank, where are you looking?

Shashank: No where Sir, I am listening.

Professor: I know how much you are listening... meet me outside after the lecture...

Ah poor guy, someone should tell professor that it’s not Shashank fault, there are more interesting things in the class then his lecture.. Should I say sorry to Shashank that because of me he has to face this problem...? Or Should I... Ah Thank God, lecture over!

Neha: Stuti yaar, you know Why Shashank is been called by professor?

Stuti: How come I know yaar, you know na I was listening to lecture.

Neha: Ya Ya... Feeling sad for him, he has to face that professor for another 15 min or so as if 1 hour lecture was not enough...

Stuti: Why are you feeling sad for him han? You like him?

Neha: No way, even my knee is better than his face... Here he comes... laughing pretending to be cool... but why is he coming in our direction?

Stuti: Yaar Neha Actually.....

Neha: Ah he is going to meet Shalu, She sits just behind us in class na? Now I know where he was looking...

Stuti: You are right... These boys na! They never give attention to lectures... Especially guys like Shashank... I don’t know why someone will even talk to him huh!!

I Me Myself Stuti Sharma

Oh god! This bus is so crowded and these boys only give seat to good looking girls only :- (, Come on, I am not that bad yaar.. and even leave good looks, come on yaar show some courtesy offer me seat...
Oh no! Phone ringing and no way i can pick it and answer :(.. must be neha's call.. its easier to reach chanakya puri from shahdra then form rajouri garden.. Oh thank god people are getting down, now i can take a breather..
Hey wait wait stop stop its my stop only.. stop.. Ah that's why all were getting down, I am such a fool.. anyways finally i reached my college DCAC thank god!! where is neha now? ah there is she..

Neha: Where the hell were you?
Stuti: Yaar bus was so crowded, but of course yaar a boy offered me a seat and then he started like anything.. these boys na..
Neha: hmm but why didn't you picked ma phone?
Stuti: Arre I saw that stop is about to come so i thought why to waste your call.. Now lets go han we are getting late for lecture....